Dead On The Couch While Home Walk Through

London - An estate agent showed prospective buyers around a house while the owner lay dead on her sofa. The agent, Samuel Allfort, said he had assumed the 55-year-old woman was sleeping and continued with the pre-arranged viewing. After the viewing he returned to the property as something wasn’t right. He found the homeowner, Katherine Frame, motionless on the sofa, where she had turned a yellowish color. More

Prize-Winning Parakeet Assassinated By Rival Breeder

UK - A top U.K. parakeet breeder believes a rival was responsible for assassinating his champion bird and stealing 21 other prize-winning parakeets, The (London) Telegraph reported. Andrew Pooley, 58, of Cornwall, southwestern England, had been away from his home for a few hours when he returned to find his champion, Penmead Pride, stamped to death and $3,090 worth of parakeets missing.
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Odd News:World's shortest man, leggiest woman meet

LONDON - Trafalgar Square routinely serves as a stage for mimes, jugglers and other acts, but the tourist attraction drew an exceptionally curious crowd Tuesday when the shortest man who can walk met the woman with the longest legs.
He Pingping, of China, was born with a type of dwarfism. He, 20, stands precisely 2 feet 5.37 inches tall.


The pair met to publicize the release of "Guinness World Records 2009." This year's version of the popular book is due out Wednesday.

He called Svetlana Pankratova's legs "very beautiful."


Pankratova, 36, who is Russian but lives in Spain, has legs that are nearly 52 inches long, or more than 4 feet long. Her upper body has nearly typical proportions, giving her a giraffe-like appearance.


At just over 6-foot-4, Pankratova isn't the tallest woman on record. Sandy Allen, of Shelbyville, Indiana, who died recently, held that title at 7 feet, 7 inches, according to the book. The book said He is the shortest man who can walk.
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Odd News:Lost cat returned home after nine years

LONDON (Reuters) - A couple have been reunited with their missing cat after nine years, the RSPCA said Wednesday.

Dixie, a 15-year-old ginger cat, disappeared in 1999 and her owners thought she had been killed by a car.

She was found less than half a mile from her home in Birmingham after a concerned resident rang the animal charity to report a thin and disheveled cat who had been in the area for a couple of months.

RSPCA Animal Collection Officer Alan Pittaway checked her microchip and confirmed it was Dixie. She was returned to her owners, Alan and Gilly Delaney, within half an hour.

"In 29 years of working for the RSPCA I have never seen anyone so excited and happy as Mrs Delaney," Pittaway said. "It made my day to return Dixie to her owners."

The couple were "overjoyed" to be reunited with their missing cat after so many years.

"Dixie's personality, behavior and little mannerisms have not changed at all," said Gilly Delaney. "We don't think she has stopped purring since she came back through the door."

The RSPCA hope the story will encourage owners to have their pets microchipped.
(Reporting by Anna Legge; Editing by Steve Addison)

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Odd News:MP in jungle cocaine search drama

LONDON (Reuters) - A British MP trekking in Colombia was held at gunpoint in the jungle and forced to eat coffee whitener from a jar in his backpack after soldiers mistook it for cocaine.

Michael Fabricant was on a walking holiday in South America with a friend when they were stopped by a group of gun-toting men in camouflage uniforms.

The soldiers found a container full of coffee whitener in their bags and immediately suspected it was drugs.

"In order to demonstrate that it wasn't cocaine, I had to take a whole pile of it and throw it down my throat," the Conservative member for Lichfield in Staffordshire told BBC television.

"They waited a few minutes to see whether I collapsed or went delirious and said something completely ridiculous like 'Gordon Brown's got a great personality'.

"Because I didn't say anything too weird, they came to the conclusion that it wasn't the case and they let me go."

His explanation for putting powdered whitener in Colombian coffee, regarded as among the best in the world, will be familiar to many Brits abroad.

"You have to be a little bit careful about what you eat," he said.

(Reporting by Peter Griffiths; editing by Steve Addison)

Stupid News Story-King penguin receives Norwegian knighthood

Stupid News Story-King penguin receives Norwegian knighthood

LONDON – Nils Olav already has medals for good conduct and long service. He made honorary colonel-in-chief of the elite Norwegian King's Guard in 2005. And on Friday he was knighted. Not bad for a 3-foot tall penguin — actually, three of them.

A resident of Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, the original Nils Olav was made an honorary member of the King's Guard in 1972 after being picked out as the guard's mascot by lieutenant Nils Egelien. The guards adopted him because they often toured the zoo during their visits to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, an annual military music festival, according to zoo spokeswoman Maxine Finlay.

The king penguin was named after Egelien and Norway's then-King Olav V. When the penguin died — Finlay said no one at the zoo knew exactly when — he was replaced by a second penguin, who inherited Nils Olav's name and rank.

The current Nils Olav, the third penguin to serve as the guards' mascot, was promoted from honorable regimental sergeant major to honorary colonel-in-chief in 2005, Finlay said.

The knighthood ceremony began Friday morning with speeches and a fanfare before Nils arrived, under escort with the King's Guard Color Detachment. Nils then reviewed the troops lined up outside the penguin enclosure at the zoo, waddling down the row of uniformed soldiers, occasionally stopping to crane his neck and peer inquisitively at their crisp uniforms before being guided forward by his handler.

Nils was then knighted by British Maj. Gen. Euan Loudon on behalf of Norway's King Harald V. Loudon dropped the king's sword on both sides of Nils's black-and-white frame, and the penguin's colonel-in-chief badge, tied to his flipper, was swapped for one symbolizing his knighthood.

"He'll be a "sir" now," Finlay said.

Stupid News-Man banned from girlfriend's home after noisy sex

Stupid News-Man banned from girlfriend's home after noisy sex

LONDON – A British man has been banned from visiting his girlfriend's home after neighbors complained about noisy sex, a local official said Thursday.

A court barred Adam Hinton, 32, from being within 110 yards of his 29-year-old girlfriend Kerry Norris' apartment, Brighton and Hove City Council spokesman Mike Taggart said.

Residents of Norris's publicly owned home had been complaining since 2006 about thumping music, banging headboards and screamed obscenities, Taggart said.

Neighbors also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard, and were upset that a 6-year-old child in the building had been "subjected to the sort of obscenities you wouldn't want a 6-year-old to hear," the spokesman said.

"She is a classic nightmare neighbor," Taggart said, insisting the case was not about sex. "It's about allowing your neighbors to have a normal decent life without being disturbed."

The court granted the city council's request for an injunction banning Hinton from the apartment because Norris had ignored a previous court order demanding that she be more quiet, Taggart said.

Norris last week was forced to pay $560 in fines and court costs for breaking the "noise abatement order," Taggart said.

Neither Norris or Hinton could be immediately located for comment. Brighton and Hove is located in southern England.

Stupid News - World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC

Stupid News - World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC

LONDON (Reuters) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.
It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton Thursday.

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

"Jokes have varied over the years, with some taking the question and answer format while others are witty proverbs or riddles," said the report's writer Dr Paul McDonald, senior lecturer at the university.

"What they all share however, is a willingness to deal with taboos and a degree of rebellion. Modern puns, Essex girl jokes and toilet humor can all be traced back to the very earliest jokes identified in this research."

The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.

(Reporting by John Joseph; Editing by Steve Addison)

Stupid News---Non-stick chewing gum firm raises $20 million

Stupid News---Non-stick chewing gum firm raises $20 million

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - A British company developing a non-stick chewing gum that can be easily removed from pavements and shoes has raised 10 million pounds ($20 million) to help bring its product to market.

The new financing comes from institutional and private investors, with IP Group -- an early backer -- chipping in an additional 800,000 pounds, the firm said on Wednesday.

Revolymer's new Clean Gum is the result of polymer research at the University of Bristol, where the company was created as a research spin-out in 2005.

Today's chewing gums are made from synthetic latex, which is resistant to the weather and is strongly adhesive. Clean Gum adds a special polymer to modify its properties, making it far less sticky.

(Reporting by Ben Hirschler; Editing by Quentin Bryar)