Cops will no longer respond to grand theft, burglary, car wrecks

Oakland - Oakland’s police chief is making some dire claims about what his force will and will not respond to if layoffs go as planned. Chief Anthony Batts listed exactly 44 situations that his officers will no longer respond to and they include grand theft, burglary, car wrecks, identity theft and vandalism. He says if you live and Oakland and one of the above happens to you, you need to let police know on-line.---...More

MSU student thong thief caught with 79 pairs

EAST LANSING, Mich. (AP) -- Police say a 19-year-old Michigan State University student who pilfered 79 pairs of women's panties faces possible charges.---...More

Cops: Fla. thieves overheard after misdialing 911

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- Police say two Florida teenagers are facing charges after 911 dispatchers heard them talking about breaking into cars when one teen's cell phone accidentally called 911 during a heist. Daytona Beach police say 19-year-old Stefanie Vargas and a 13-year-old boy are charged with burglary to a conveyance..---...More

Man begs cops to let him finish his pie

New Zealand - Police are astounded at the behaviour of an offender who showed more concern for the meat pie he was eating than the man he?d allegedly just stabbed. The man pleaded with officers to let him finish eating his meat pie before he was cuffed. He was accused of stabbing his stepson in the neck.---...More

Cops get taxpayer gastric banding after too many donuts

Australia - Taxpayers are helping to pay for overweight cops to have radical gastric-banding stomach surgery as part of a fat-busting initiative. The West Australian Police and the police union have agreed to pay up to $2,000 towards lap-banding operations for obese officers in a bid to counter chronic illnesses. ---...More

Cops: Thieves swipe Twinkies, leave tracks in snow

KINGSPORT, Tenn. (AP) -- It was a Zinger of a theft in Tennessee. It also included cupcakes, Twinkies and other snack cakes from the Merita Bread Company. The Kingsport Times-News cites a report from the Sullivan County Sheriff's Office in reporting 34-year-old James M. Denoon and 18-year-old Anthony Stout were found hiding under a truck at the bakery late Friday night..
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Cops: Woman claims white powder came from doughnut

MARYVILLE, Tenn. (AP) -- East Tennessee police said a Knoxville woman who was later arrested for cocaine possession initially told an officer that she had been eating a powdered doughnut. The Maryville Daily Times reported that a 21-year-old woman was arrested on Thursday and charged with possession of a Schedule II substance with intent to sell or deliver. She was also cited for driving on a suspended driver's license, driving without proof of insurance, failure to maintain her lane of...More

NY cops slip oil-change-bribe suspect into slammer

MASTIC BEACH, N.Y. (AP) -- Authorities said a drunken driving suspect tried to grease the wheels of justice with a bribe: free oil changes and car inspections. Suffolk County Police Officer Robert Kall responded by arresting the 44-year-old Shirley, N.Y., resident on two charges Thursday---...More

Cops Woman smuggled drugs,Pa. inmate with kiss

MERCER, Pa. (AP) -- A western Pennsylvania woman has been ordered to stand trial on charges she passed a drug-filled balloon to a state prison inmate while kissing him. State police said guards at the State Correctional Institution-Mercer became suspicious when an inmate appeared to swallow something after a prolonged kiss with a visitor on Oct. 19----...More

Cops: Skater faces charges in right-of-way dispute

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) -- A Connecticut in-line skater faces assault and other charges after a confrontation over whether a 4-year-old on a tricycle had the right to be on a bike path. Stamford police charged 43-year-old Chris Karamon with third-degree assault, risk of injury to a minor and other crimes--...More

Cops: Father hits another dad at school open house

NORTH HAVEN, Conn. (AP) -- The father of a Connecticut middle school student has been charged with punching another man in the head at a school open house. Police said 32-year-old Rodney Rivera and the other father got into an argument at North Haven Middle School on Tuesday morning over a debt Rivera believed he was owed...More--Twitter Political Roast---Domain Names

Conn. cops: Man went naked to dental appointment

STRATFORD, Conn. – Police say a Connecticut man has been arrested because he showed up at a dental office naked.

Police say 41-year-old Christopher Hoff, of Stratford, also was five days late for his appointment.

Authorities say Hoff entered Optimus Dental's office Monday with nothing on. A startled female receptionist screamed, and he ran away.

Officers went to his home, and Hoff told them he had been sleeping all day. Police took Hoff to the dental office, where the receptionist identified him.

Hoff was charged with disorderly conduct, public indecency and failure to comply with fingerprinting.

He did not immediately return a telephone message left Wednesday at his home. It's unclear if he has an attorney.

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Information from: Connecticut Post, http://www.connpost.com
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Bizarre News|School bus liquor-store run gets cops' attention

BILLINGS, Mont. – A school bus driver made an unscheduled stop at a liquor store, then allegedly asked a student to help hide her purchases when police stopped her, the district superintendent said. It does not appear the driver had been drinking, Billings Public Schools Superintendent Jack Copps said. No charges had been filed but the driver quit her job this week.

Copps said someone spotted the bus at the liquor store on Dec. 12 and called authorities. No students were on the bus at the time, he said.

By the time officers caught up with the bus, the driver had picked up some middle school students and allegedly asked one student to hide a paper bag with bottles of alcohol near the back of the bus, Copps said.

Copps said the school immediately notified its bus contractor, First Student, that the woman was not to transport any of the district's students.

School district policy prohibits alcohol on school property or in vehicles transporting students. Copps described the incident as "embarrassing."

Stupid News-Cops bust nine students accused in milk vomiting

TEMPE, Ariz. (AP) - Police at Arizona State University say they've arrested nine fraternity members suspected of vomiting milk from a footbridge onto cars on the street below. The vomiting incident caused a crash that injured two people.

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Associated Press

Assistant Police Chief Jay Spradling says police are fairly certain the Sept. 22 incident was hazing. He says 8 of the Delta Sigma Phi fraternity members arrested this week on suspicion of disorderly conduct were pledges, while one was the pledge master.

ASU has a strict policy against hazing, as does the national fraternity organization.

Tempe police Sgt. Steve Carbajal said the vomit caused one car's driver to stop, and another car smashed into it from behind. A woman and her 6-year-old daughter suffered minor injuries.

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Cops nab motorist who owes $1.9M in traffic fines

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Brazilian police reportedly have caught up with a motorist who owes the equivalent of nearly $2 million in unpaid traffic fines. Folha OnLine said police stopped a 36-year-old man on Wednesday night and discovered he has been ticketed nearly 1,000 times since 2001, the year he bought his current car.



Folha OnLine said the accumulated fines for speeding and running red lights total 3.4 million reals ($1.9 million).



The man said he never received the tickets because he was always too busy to register the car in his name.



Folha OnLine said the car is worth about $6,600 and was impounded. It will be auctioned unless the man comes up with the money he owes.



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Stupid News:Cops nab motorist who owes $1.9M in traffic fines

SAO PAULO, Brazil - Brazilian police reportedly have caught up with a motorist who owes the equivalent of nearly $2 million in unpaid traffic fines. Folha OnLine said police stopped a 36-year-old man on Wednesday night and discovered he has been ticketed nearly 1,000 times since 2001, the year he bought his current car.

Folha OnLine said the accumulated fines for speeding and running red lights total 3.4 million reals ($1.9 million).

The man said he never received the tickets because he was always too busy to register the car in his name.

Folha OnLine said the car is worth about $6,600 and was impounded. It will be auctioned unless the man comes up with the money he owes.

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Stupid News:Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission

Stupid News:Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.

Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

"Mission failed," he told them.

Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.



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Stupid News:Police: Man blames bad driving on spilled beer

Stupid News:Police: Man blames bad driving on spilled beer

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A man with four previous drunken driving convictions who was stopped for weaving in and out of traffic on Interstate 40 was ready with an excuse for his poor driving: his passenger spilled his beer.

Not surprisingly, the man was arrested just before midnight Saturday, said state police officer Kurtis Ward, who said he initially thought the driver was joking.

"He was so matter of fact about it, like it wasn't a big deal," Ward said.

The 31-year-old man was allegedly too drunk to perform field sobriety tests and was arrested on aggravated drunken driving charges, court records said.

Ward found four opened bottles of beer in the car, court records showed.

It was the man's sixth DWI arrest. He had been found guilty of four of five previous drunken driving charges and has paid $1,750 in fines, the DWI Resource Center said.

Information from: Albuquerque Journal

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Stupid News- G. Bush charged with shooting traffic light near UCLA; cops find 10K rounds in van, locker

Stupid News- G. Bush charged with shooting traffic light near UCLA; cops find 10K rounds in van, locker

UCLA police charged a man with shooting at a traffic light Friday in Westwood, Calif.

The Los Angeles Times says Gene Bush was carrying five handguns with laser sights and 400 rounds of ammunition when officers took him into custody near UCLA Medical Center.

Investigators say they later found 10,000 rounds of ammunition in his van and storage locker.

It all started with a 911 call just before midnight.

"Witnesses indicated that the suspect fired three shots at the traffic light at the intersection," the department says in a statement. "An area check located bullet strikes in the traffic light and one in a nearby building. The suspect made anti-government statements and told officers we must look in his nearby suitcase for 'the secret.' A quick view into open pouches of the suitcase showed timers, cans of paint thinner, and other suspicious items"

They called in the bomb squad.

Bush, who has no known ties to the school, is being held at the county jail, according to the Daily Bruin, a student newspaper.

(Police photo via AP.)