Couple gets stuck on Christmas tree hunt

MEDFORD, Oregon - An Oregon couple who got stuck in the snow while hunting for a Christmas tree in the high country spent more than a day digging themselves out. Keith and Jennifer Lee of Medford knew a search was on for them because they listened to the radio during the 15 minutes an hour they ran their car?s engine, KDRV-TV, Medford, Ore., reported. But they were out of cellphone range. The couple were on a forest road that crosses the border into California, the Medford Mail Tribune reported. They got stuck Tuesday afternoon and were able to move again early Thursday. ---...More

Man tries to make penis longer but got stuck

California - Officials with the Costa Mesa Fire Department’s Urban Search and Rescue squad were summoned to Hoag Memorial Hospital Presbyterian in Newport Beach to save another man’s penis from perishing. The man in his 50s had apparently put his penis through the hole of a steel, ring-shaped dumbbell weight fastener, two or three days earlier. The device got stuck, and he couldn’t remove it. The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size. In order to remove the ring, firefighters had to use a saw to cut through it....More---Twitter Political Roast---Domain Names

Fla. deputy helps raccoon with head stuck in jar

PALM HARBOR, Fla. (AP) -- A Gulf coast raccoon has a sheriff's deputy to thank for helping him out of a sticky situation. The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office was alerted to the distressed critter Wednesday morning. A fitness instructor reported seeing the raccoon with his head stuck in a jar at a Palm Harbor elementary school parking lot, about 25 miles north of St. Petersburg---...More

Stupid News:Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission

Stupid News:Stuck 'agent' tells cops of secret bomb mission

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.

Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.

"Mission failed," he told them.

Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.

He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.

However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.

Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.



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